For Allies

Things You Should Know as an Ally

The Four Basic Levels of Becoming an Ally

1. Awareness: Explore how you are different from and similar to gay, lesbian and bisexual people. Gain this awareness through talking with gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, by attending workshops, and through self-examination.
2. Knowledge/Education: Begin to understand policies, laws and practices and how they affect gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. Educate yourself on the many communities and cultures of gay, lesbian and bisexual people.
3. Skills: This is an area that is difficult for many people. You must learn to take your awareness and knowledge and communicate it to others. You can acquire these skills by attending workshops, role-playing with friends or peers, and developing support connections.
4. Action: This is the most important and frightening step. Despite the fear, action is the only way to cause change in society as a whole.

Five Other Points to Keep in Mind

1. Have a good understanding of sexual orientation and be comfortable with your own.
2. Be aware of the coming-out process and realize that it is not a one-time event. The coming-out process is unique to gay, lesbian and bisexual, and transgender people and brings challenges that are not often understood.
3. Understand that gay, lesbian and bisexual people receive the same message about homosexuality and bisexuality as everyone else. Thus gay, lesbian and bisexual, and transgender people suffer from internalized homophobia and heterosexism. It is important to recognize the risks of coming out and to challenge the internal oppression.
4. Remember that gay, lesbian and bisexual people are a diverse group. Each community within the larger gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender community has unique needs and goals.
5. Know at least basic information about AIDS/HIV in order to address myths and misinformation and to be supportive of those affected by this disease whether in themselves or in partners and friends. While AIDS/HIV is a health issue for all, those who live with the most fear and have lost the most members of their community are gay, lesbian and bisexual, and transgender persons.

An Ideal Ally is Someone Who….

• Uses gender neutral terms, such as partner or significant other, instead of gender specific terms like boyfriend or girlfriend
• Doesn’t preface a statement on LGBT issues with “I’m straight, but…”
• Doesn’t expect an LGBT person to speak for the entire LGBT community
• Doesn’t assume
• Treats partners of LGBT friends the same as they would a straight friend’s partner
• Doesn’t think of people as “my gay student” or “my lesbian friend”
• Objects to homophobic jokes in all situations
• Doesn’t tolerate homophobic comments
• Understands the basics of LGBT issues but is not afraid to ask questions
• Points out when a historical figure or author is LGBT and doesn’t dismiss LGBT content in literature
• Avoids stereotypes and makes clear that stereotypes don’t represent the entire LGBT community

Questions, Comments? Email us at lgbt@unc.edu